The Big Squeeze!

Chef Joe’s Blog, Presenter Blogs

The Big Squeeze!

When I refer to the big squeeze it’s not some convoluted juicing reference, merely my experience of trying to fit into any item of clothing since the festivities. If like me, since around mid-November you’ve been declaring “oh, it’s fine, it’s almost Christmas” then I’m sure this week as you stare longingly into your kale salad you’re starting to question the meaning of life. If this is the case you’re probably also wondering if you could just carry on with the good life and pretend not to care.

Surely someone, somewhere has come up with an easier solution by now? With this in mind I have been trawling the web for the most extreme, obscure and somewhat risky fad diets that are out there.

The baby food diet – Simply consume 14 jars of baby food and then a healthy evening meal, I can’t say the idea of tiny jars of puree really floats my boat. Also the general consensus seems to be that a diet so low in fibre could be dangerous, that aside Lady Gaga and Reese Witherspoon are rumoured to be among the celebrity followers of the diet.

The five bite diet – I’m unsure how you can be expected to put something utterly delicious in the bin after just five mouthfuls….this may be why I’m in this predicament in the first place. This diet calls for you to skip breakfast and then simply have five bites of any food you desire for lunch and another five bites for dinner. Even if you have a mouth as big as mine (massive) then it’s estimated you could only manage 900-1,000 calories a day, well below what’s recommended for a healthy weight management campaign.

The cotton ball diet – How often do you wake up and think mmmm I could murder a cotton ball soaked in orange juice? Never! It’s rumoured however that this dieting technique is actually a thing and has been happening for a while. I’m sure you worked it out already but consuming bleached synthetic fibres soaked in orange juice can be extremely harmful and has no nutritional properties.

The cabbage soup diet – I mean seriously, a diet consisting mostly of cabbage, can you imagine what your breath is going to smell like? For this one you have to consume not much other than a watery, limp cabbage soup 3-4 times per day as well as a very small amount of other low fat foods. Side effects are said to include bloating and bad “gas” (oh my!). As much as this sounds like twelve days of hell this is probably the most popular of the fad diets I’ve taken a look at in this blog.

Having spent a lot of time looking at all the strange diet things out there on the big wide web, I think the answer to my endeavour has to be that actually three balanced meals and some exercise sounds like an easy ride in comparison to this restrictive mentality!

If you want some healthy recipe inspiration then be sure to head over to idealworld.tv/joesquickkitchen where every week I will be adding a new recipe aimed at beating the bulge.

Much love xxx

 

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